1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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