Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
