Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
