It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Do vagina's smell?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
