Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
