you guys were way drunker than both of me
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I AM VODKA MAN
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
