I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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