U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
