you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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