Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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