I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
