my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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