he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
