I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
