I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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