drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
