As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
