If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize