You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
