Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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