I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
