Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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