who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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