were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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