he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
