if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor