you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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