My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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