maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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