What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
