We should be called the Road Head Warriors
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She told me I should be a condom model.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
True strength comes from lack of pants
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize