I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
