why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
