so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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