How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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