Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He better not be in your backpack
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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