it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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