idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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