weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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