Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
