i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize