i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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