It's like a parade of train wrecks.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize