Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
