i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
He has the fingertips of a God
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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