im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
