My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
