He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
