I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
