if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
