If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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