well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
