Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
