It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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