talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
