I don't think brook has ever known best
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
