i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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