About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize