what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
COCAINE IS GR8
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
