i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
