walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT