i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.