Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.