Just mADE A PArabola og urine
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused