Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
