Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
