she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
