I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
