Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
