she was so not down for the gang bang
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
