We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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