Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You did what with his pubic hair?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
