Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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