And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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