Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
