i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
